The Poltergeist Guide to Your Best Birth: 10 Steps to Having a Water Birth at Home

So those of you who know me, know that I have both an odd sense of humor and a knack for seeing the correlations between things that other "normal" people miss. So, behold: The Poltergeist Guide to Your Best Birth: 10 Steps to Having a Water Birth at Home.

1. Contractions begin.

2. Watch some tv.

3. Make some food.

4. Play games at/with the kitchen table.

5. Call your midwife.

6. Get in the tub, with or without creepy children.

7. Transition.

8. Follow your intuition and briefly enter portal to another dimension.

9. Birth baby. Initiate immediate skin to skin contact. Do not remove ghost vernix, it is good for your skin.

10. Invite Grandpa for a visit.